~DEATH plus AZAMnes~

yesterday, i was walking around tasik bandar( depan uia), doing my unsual brisk walking..
haha..very seldom i doing this thing coz PEMALAS!!..
but i really love the freshness of the green environment while i looked around..
oh..i am really grateful to ALLAH because touch my heart to go out for a while and think what i have done in my life...and of course, not forgetting to mention, the pleasure of sweating trickling down on my face and the ever-ready feel good hormone- The amazing Endorphins- that are pumped into my system..they do wonder  for me too!


when i was walking alone while listen to music...suddenly the word DEATH is coming to my head..
oh it is really make my body feel so cold..like goosebumps maybe...actually at the afternoon i have received a news that one of my friend NANA, has lost her father..This was one piece of news i was not prepared to hear, one piece of new that my heart beat faster...


Ya Allah, please give NANA strength to go through this ordeal... 


i realized that death will come to everyone, sooner or later. and i surely know this Death will also come to me..No one could escape this even though they have very powerful power...because ALLAH is the most powerful..and i really know that death is the natural process of life..but surely even it is natural process... i feel like it something that is really hard to swallow..am i rite anybody??huhu...


The truth why i am so afraid about the death is of course for many reasons..


- i believe i am not prepared to face HIM
- i believe that i have not done enough for HIM
- i believe i have not lived fully according to HIS Rules
- i believe i had done so many bad things that make HIM so angry with me
-i believe i am not a good "khalifah" in this world and also not a good servant to HIM


and this is actually a half of the reason why i am so shameful and so afraid to meet HIM, my CREATOR..


perhaps, i think the reason why ALLAH planned that i received this news(nana's father pass away) is of course for me to really look into myself at what i have done, what i am doing, and what i plan to do in my future


Ya Allah i need to think hard from now...


i do not want to face YOU with "bad look"...but i want to see you with a "very good look"..


and today is 1 January 2012..a new year coming...a new year that make my age turn in 24..
oh GOD i have been given a chance to live in this beautiful world for 24 years..
what i have done to YOU to make you happy after created me into this world??...
but...
i am glad that when i woke today i still alive..Allah still give a chance to breath...give a chance to repent of all my wrongdoing...give me chance to see the world.. and give a chance to worship HIM..alhamdulillah.
TERIMA KASIH TUHAN..
 i really appreciated it...


oh let turn our mood to "semangat mood"..what??haha..


owh what is my AZAM for this year??


hmm...i think....not azam la..but i rather to get rid of bad2 thing that may increase my sins..huhu


maybe i will ....
...stop talking about others..
...stop doing useless things..
...stop arguing with my brother and family..
...stop postponing my prayers..
...stop backstabbing other people..
...etc...etc...


and i think i should....
...start doing charity...
...start being kind to the weak,orphan,poor or needy..
...start waking up early in the morning...
...start respecting my family and friends..
...start being helpful to others...
...start to be a good MUSLIMAH and servant to ALLAH...
...etc..etc...


(etc=so malu nak exposed so tulis dlm my diary je...kih2..)..


lets pray friends...


"o ALLAH..on this year, please cover me with Your mercy, grant me in its success and protection, purify my heart from darkness of false accusations,my sins forgiven, my deeds accepted,open for me the doors of Your Grace, bar me from anger and the fire of hell, grant me the obedience of the humble..O the GOD of the world.."


ok enough Ruzira...next time la ye nak membebel


before i end...


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


enjoy your life...ngehe..